As a kid, that’s what we’d yell when we played a game of kickball on the streets of Long Island when a car approached us. We’d have to stop the game and wait for the car to pass.
Earlier this year I felt burnt out and I took a break from auditioning. For the past few months I’ve had a day job as a receptionist at a non-profit organization. The people are mostly positive. The way they deal with conflict is with passive aggressive behavior so no one is really an outright jerk.
I enjoyed the regularity of it all. I show up at a certain time, work hard and go home.
Feeling exhausted without the energy to do the important work: exercise, writing, drawing etc. BUT! The payoff was that I looked responsible! I had a full-time job (even if I was making way less than I was as an actress).
I still perform doing standup but I definitely miss working on television. I love everything about working with a crew and being on set. When I see Haddad’s famous trucks on the streets of New York City I get wistful and wish I was working on a television show.
Could I? Should I? Would I?
How could I start back up again?
My brain yells: “I hate theatre and REAL actors do theatre!” (The reality is: I don’t have to do theatre).
Yesterday, one of my co-workers began yelling at me. People in the office try to brush it off and justify her behavior: “That’s just how she talks.” Nope. Sorry, we all come from quirky weird families and we all need to adjust ourselves. I don’t behave how I was raised at the office, if I did, I’d be in jail.
She has yelled at me before and I just sucked it up but today as her voice raised into a shrill it hit me exactly the wrong way and I let her know it.
I had had it.
At the end of a draining day, I looked at my phone and decided to email my old agent. The one I’d been with since I was in college. I asked her if she might want to start sending me out again, I wasn’t working with anyone. She said sure.
Looks like I’m back in. Refreshed and eager with a new appreciation for what I had taken a break from.
I have gratitude for my rude co-worker for reminding me what I should be doing.